TMI

I warn you in advance that if you are faint of heart this week's big news may not be something you want to read about. In fact, I'm absolutely convinced it isn't. Even if you are not faint of heart I would suggest skipping this week's post. 

I am going to post though because this is my diary and so for my eyes only - this is what happened this week.

Last weekend son went to the loo and there was a blockage. I was very proud of myself as I dug out a plunger from 'that' cupboard in the utility room and managed to clear the blockage..... I thought.

On Wednesday - very early - son went to the loo and came out happily saying 'mum all the water has come up to the top of the loo and there is poo floating in it'. 

I hadn't even had my first cup of coffee at this time, but thought that perhaps the loo situation took priority. I got one of dog's poo bags and went to take a look. Being very brave and using the poo bag I fished the poo out of the loo, there was one little bit that floated down to the bottom by the U-bend.

I tied a knot in poo bag and got a carrier bag to put it in so I could put it on the floor, I got another poo bag and went to get the little bit by the U-bend. As I went in to grab it I could feel that there was loads more just behind the bend, so I went for that bit too. It was more than a handful!!!!! I took what I could, tied a knot in the bag, put it in the carrier bag, got the next poo bag and went in to gather some more.

I could go on here, but needless to say - we ended up with 8 poo bags of poo and almost half a carrier bag full of poo bags!!!!!

Completely horrific. I very much hope that I got everything. I used the plunger again when finished. If it happens again then I think we need a professional in as it would mean that the poo is floating back up the pipe - or something. I'm actually grimacing as I'm typing this!!!!!

So there you have it - a post which definitely has far Too Much Information. It is however, the main story of my life this week.

Actually that's not quite true as there is another poo related tale (I'm sure you are thrilled to know). Before I start I don't want you to think we are cruel, dog has a crate - this is for her to sleep in only and was purchased on the advice of a doggy expert, who said that it's actually something dogs love because it is their own night time space and makes them feel secure. She is only put in her crate for sleep.

On Wednesday night dog started barking at about 3.00am. Husband went down and took her out and checked her crate in case she'd left us a special message in there. There was nothing there so he shut her back in the crate - she didn't stop barking. 

So I got up - we don't want her to think that if she barks we'll come and get her - we are trying to get her to stop barking at night. So I pretended it was morning and started my morning routine - this was 3.15am.

I went to bed early on Thursday night (unsurprisingly), husband came to bed at about 11.00. As soon as he got into the room dog started barking in her crate. I went to get up and husband said - I've just taken her out and she's done a wee and poo ignore her. So I did. At 12.00 she was still barking. I went to get up and husband said - don't go she has to learn. At 1.00 she was still barking - again we had repeat actions from above. At 3.00am I thought this is nuts somebody has to get some sleep.

And so once again I got up and started my morning routine.

Yesterday was Saturday so when I'd finished my many many chores (my life is hugely boring) I decided to do a complete clean out of dogs bedding in crate. Essentially she has a padded mat, on top of that I have a shower curtain, then a towel on top of that, then at the back she has 2 old pillows in a pillow case, that's wrapped in a shower curtain and that is wrapped in a blanket. It's the main bit that she sleeps on.

As I unwrapped the pillows the most enormous flat poo fell out (fortunately onto the shower curtain). It was completely wrapped in the towel so we hadn't known it was there. The poor little mite had been shut into it's crate with an old poo for a couple of days. I was mortified!

Needless to say her crate is now sparkly clean.

I have a very exciting Sunday planned now, I'm going to look at my pension and try to work out how to move it to less risky funds. Then I have to work on the accounts for my business. I have literally no idea how to do either of these things and it is weighing heavy on me. So I think I just need to bite the bullet.

Then I'm going to do next week's grocery shop online - harder than it seems as there is so much stuff missing from the shelves at the moment.

Then it's time to give dog another bath as doubtless there is poo in her fur from having to be in her crate with a poo for so long.

Then my last bit of excitement is I'm making a curry for supper.

My life is just such a whirl of excitement. I bet you wish you were me!