This doesn't mean that the drama has ended in my life. I finished work on Wednesday and events with one of my colleagues on that final day has left me wondering if it's time for me to resign. I honestly don't think there's any more drama I can cope with and the events (which I'll not go into in a blog) have left me feeling that despite the fact my job makes me feel I'm doing something valuable with my life - actually ruining my mental health in the process doesn't make it worth it.
I actually think I may have spiralled into depression I feel so low, but hopefully Christmas events will start to even things out.
On Thursday I had my first day off work and son and I started our Christmas preparation. The first thing we did was go to a local garden centre to see the singing reindeer. We've been going to this garden centre since son was aged 4. They used to have real reindeer, which was amazing. We'd turn up and meet Blitzen and Comet just days before they went into action.
Then one Christmas we turned up and they'd replaced them with singing reindeer. This made me super sad (especially as garden centre is a 30 minute drive away). I asked why they'd changed it and they said that they had concerns about how well the reindeer were being looked after. That's something I couldn't argue - so we got behind the singing heads (it's not the same though).
On the Friday we did another Christmas tradition, which is to go to the Royal Pavilion and take a look at their display of Christmas Trees. We love the Royal Pavilion, if you haven't been I can recommend it, absolutely stunning. Back in the day it's where son used to go to see the real Santa. Before the real Santa moved to the Llama park in Ashdown Forest. The Llama park has closed down now sadly, I don't know where the real Santa goes before Christmas now. But son doesn't want to go to Santa anyway so I've stopped trying to discover his whereabouts.
At the garden centre we then went for our first Christmas hot chocolate. In the end I didn't have hot chocolate - I had a gingerbread Late. OMG it was one of the nicest things I've ever had. I came straight home and purchased some gingerbread syrup to see me through Christams.
At the Pavilion this year, for the first time, they'd created an explanation of what each tree was depicting. For example, in the entrance hall they had a tree with invitations and clocks set to 18:00. The explanation was about a ball arranged by Albert, where everybody turned up ready for 18:00. the tree was stunning and for the first half of the Pavilion they were the best trees ever. Then suddenly they became absolutely rubbish for the second half. I have a feeling that half of the display was done by one person (with talent) and half with somebody with no talent and very little time. I'd be interested to know the story behind that.
My goodness I'd love the job to do the trees at the Pavilion for Christmas. I suspect it's a volunteer thing, but if it was paid..... Maybe if I resign I'll look into that. Doubt it will pay much if it does pay - after all the Pavilion is funded by donations. It's a shame that the best jobs never seem to pay. That said, often the worst jobs don't either!!!! Years ago when I was sad at work I made a list of the worst jobs ever - thinking that I'd find out which paid the most and just bite the bullet. Turns out none of those horrible jobs (prison guard, traffic warden etc.) paid well either!
I'm posting a bit early this week as from today I'm throwing myself into big plans for Christmas. Everybody is coming to me this year so there is a lot to prepare. Mum and Dad turn up on Christmas Eve. They are staying in an airbnb near my house. This has created an extra layer of logistics - but it will be nice to have them around and it will thrill son to have them close.
Today the food is being delivered at about 10:00am. Tomorrow I'll start prepping a few bits and bobs. But I'll not go into too much detail now or I'll have nothing to post about in a week.
Saying that - I very much hope that's the case. The run of disasters in my life has to come to an end at some point............................... please!
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