Worries and concerns

 Before I go into the worries and concerns I'm just going to be terribly British and talk about the weather.

It's 4th October. I just took the dog out for a walk. There's not a cloud in the sky. I went out wearing just canvas shoes, jeans, a t-shirt and a lightweight summer cotton jumper. It was swealtering. So much so that I decided I couldn't really take dog for walk in direct sunlight and instead took her through the woods.

Early in the walk she found an enormous stick, the same size as her. I then had the joy of walking along a narrow woodland path with the dog thwaking me in the backs of my knees and nearly wiping me out approximately once every 30 seconds.

So I came home and opened the french windows at the back. Madness considering the time of year.

After a 3 year wait my NHS ASD assessment started this week, though I'm struggling because I need somebody else to answer questions about me and from the pool of people I know nobody can answer them. To be fair I can't answer a lot of them either. I'm excited to get clarity though. I think it's going to be a bit traumatic actually. I had to fill in a huge form (took 4 hours) answering lots of questions and the act of digging deep into myself had my crying on more than one occassion. Sometimes living life at a fascile level has its benefits.

In other news, Dad's going in for an operation on Tuesday, I'm deeply concerned that he'll not survive it. It's a bit all consuming at the moment and I can't think of anything beyond Tuesday. Straight after this I'm going to contact work and cancel a trip I was due to do this week. I thought it would take my mind off things, but actually all it's doing is stressing me out. I know they will be fine with it.

I'm not going to go into any more detail this week, more than anything this was just explaining why I've been a bit quiet recently and may be for a little longer.