Nice to feel like a grown up


Do you remember when you had a baby and you were driven insane by friends (and strangers) saying things to you like..... "How old are they - ahhh, can they tell the time / drive a car / do nuclear physics etc. yet." 

We're in the same situation with house training the puppy. Everybody is saying "Oh ours was great and was sorted in one hour / week / two weeks..... but then he's just soooooooooooooooooo intelligent." This always surprises me as at this moment their dog is usually doing something like eating another dog's poo or being startled by a butterfly.

We thought we'd cracked house training with dog last week, but we were wrong. She literally doesn't seem to be able to get it.

Another thing I remember when son was born - I'd spend time reading books that said things like.... don't tell your child off, if they do something wrong give them another option. Well frankly that didn't work. Puppy advice says similar. From this point forward we are definitely going for the telling off approach - though obviously with nothing mean or physical going on. Let's see if it works.

This basically stems from one person who admitted they followed the 'don't tell them off' advice and 3 years later their dog is still doing wee's and poo's in the house!!!

Apart from that, dog is settling in well, though she has something of an obsession with my socks and every time I turn around she's managed to find a pair somewhere and is chewing on them. This shows a certain amount of talent as I rarely wear socks because I'm always unable to find any. Though I don't think this talent is going to help me in the intelligent dog competition.... THEM: 'oh is your dog not house trained yet?' - ME: 'Sadly not, but she is good at finding socks'.........

This weekend was most exciting - I had a dinner party - yes a proper growed up dinner party! It was great to catch up with some old friends - hadn't seen them since before COVID. They are lucky enough to have a second house in Crete so when lockdown looked like it was going to happen they made a quick decision and have basically spent the last year and a bit in Crete. I pretended not to be jealous, but I don't think I fooled anybody!

It was really great to have some grown up conversation and I went to loads of effort with the food, which actually turned out ok. We started with crab linguini with pea, mint and cucumber salad and then had Chicken / Salmon (depending on preference), wrapped in parma ham with guacamole, salsa and rice salad. Then for pud a rasberry and pomegranate cheesecake (thank you Tesco for the cheesecake - I don't make puds). Then some cheeses - I managed to find some local cheeses in a deli next to the butcher.

It was all supper yum - probably because I dropped my no carbs rule - but all the same.

We've had lots of people around before, but it's always followed COVID rules and so it's either been freezing to death in the garden with neighbours joining in with the conversation (our only flat garden is at the front of the house) or it's been limited to 6 people and we've sat in different corners of the room with trays on our laps. As I result I've concentrated on easy fork food, which is fine - but doesn't feel spesh.

So, this one was different, nice food, our smart tableware, unbalanced glasses of bubbly and easy conversation. First time I'd felt normal in ages.

Also on Saturday I went to a different hairdresser. I'm really not a girly girl and only have a bob, which is essentially the first thing they teach you at hairdressing school. As a result I just go to whichever hairdresser is nearest. I've had a great one since I moved into my house 12 years ago, just a 5 minute walk and he does my sons hair and mine for the grand total of £30. 

Sadly he's got really ill with cancer and given that we are not locking ourselves away at the moment we thought it would be safest to give him a chance to recover. I have fingers, toes and everything else crossed that he gets through this. He's got through cancer before - so it could go either way - he's either a strong survivor or the second batch will be the one. 

Anyway, feeling very guilty like I was letting him down I arranged an appointment at the hairdresser that is second closest to home. Actually I'm pleased with the cut, but the start was challenging because I normally just sit down and let my usual hairdresser do what he wants. My new hairdresser (temporary or not - depending on health of usual hairdresser) asked me difficult questions like what sort of cut did I want! Anyway, we got through it and I took her name and asked her to remember what I had so she could just get down to it next time - without the complicated questions.

Then as it was August Bank Holiday Monday and in true British tradition it was grey and cold we made a decision to have a BBQ. We've hardly had any this year because it's been such a rubbish summer. I suspect that will be our last one until next May. 

I'm holding out for one of those bizarre heatwaves we sometimes get in October - because right now it feels like it's been Autumn since September 2020 and I'm not sure I can cope with the long winter ahead of us. Especially as I'm going to have to tone down my Christmas decorations this year as the dog is just going to spend it's time eating or pulling down anything I put up. Still it's only for one year.

It's son's birthday on Friday and he's going to be 13 - I can't believe it!!! We've got some cool things organised. On his Birthday we're taking some Alpaca's for a walk (booked ages ago and was something I figured wouldn't be cancelled), then in the evening we're off to an American diner in Brighton (my idea of hell, son's idea of heaven). Then on Saturday we've booked a VR session for him and some friends in Brighton.

One of my friends asked if I was doing anything special as it's his 13th - I'll be honest I thought I'd done enough. But it was a fair point. The things we'd booked have already cost quite a bit and you have to draw a line somewhere.

So what I've done is plan to decorate the dining room for a mad hatters tea party. Paper decorations, cake stands etc. I'll just put all his party food in cup cake cases - obviously this is going to be a disaster, but I'll take a photo and share with you next week.

I also trawled online and found an idea that I really liked. To come up with 13 things that you should know when you are 13. So I've done these (I'll list them below) - I've then had these printed up (just made into a .png and got printed as a photo).

So I'll finish this post with the list I'm giving him - things I wish I'd known at 13. See if there's any you'd have added.

Here's the list - sadly I'm so shallow that much of the advice has been picked up from romcoms, books and other dodgy sources, but none the less I hope they'll be useful.

1. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent (Eleanor Roosevelt)
 
2. It’s OK to make mistakes – EVERYBODY does

3. Everybody is far too worried about themselves to worry about what you are doing / have done

4. Exams are a stepping stone – not your whole life (and wet ankles dry off)

5. There is more than one path in life – the path you choose is what makes you unique – your difference is your power

6. Choose great friends and treat them right, they’ll be there for you when you feel nobody else is

7. Nobody is liked by everybody – know you are a good person and just accept that anybody that doesn’t like you is missing out on a great friendship – move on

8. Those that have it all in their youth often crash and burn in their twenties. Don’t feel pressure to peak too early

9. What feels crushingly terrible today will feel ok in a few weeks. Try to be brave, talk it out when you can and trust that it WILL get better

10. Show up and work hard – try new things - don’t judge your skills against others just be the best that you can be

11. It’s ok not to fit in – find your own path – if you follow the herd you could find yourself in a mankini on love island!!!

12. Take life at your own pace. Sometimes you may act younger than your years and other times you’ll act older. Just do what’s right for you (and know that drugs will NEVER make anything better)

13. REMEMBER: Dance to the beat of your own drum. You are an amazing, individual person and your parents are right behind you all the way (even if you want us to hide around the corner).

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