A critical mass of teenager!

 It's been a long weekend thanks to the August Bank Holiday. Today I start work again- do I feel relaxed? DO I F>(k

Son has always been one of those kids that likes to hoard everything. He's always refused to throw anything away. When he was very little he had a behaviour chart. When he did something good he got a tick - 5 ticks meant that he got a prize. When he did something bad one of the ticks was turned into a cross. If he got 5 crosses in a row (crosses could be added if there were no ticks to cross out) one of his toys was given away to charity. 

So if that's what works as a punishment for a kid you can only imagine just how much 'stuff' he has accumulated over 16 years.

When he was younger about once a year I'd go through is room and throw out random bits of paper, sticks (lots of them) and stones. But I had to be careful because he had a radar which meant he could tell in seconds if some cheap bit of tut had been removed. 

As a result his bedroom has been like an episode of 'Secret Hoarders' for ages and on entering his room you have to take care not to break an ankle or worse. Plus every piece of furniture is/was covered in stickers - things from throughout his life - everything from Ben 10 to Micky Mouse, Pirates and on to gaming stickers.

Suddenly he has decided he wants a grown up room - largely because he wants a computer in there (which isn't going to happen - but he doesn't know that). So on Saturday armed with bin bags we went through his entire room. Sorting things into Rubbish / Car Boot / Keep in attic / Keep out / Give to Schools. We started at about 10:00 am on Saturday and finished this activity around 16:00 on Sunday. 

I found the whole thing incredibly stressful, far more stressful than sorting the attic. When I did the attic it was my choice about what to do with things. With son's room - what looked to me like a piece of plastic would turn out to be a super rare lego figure that was 'probably worth a lot of money'.

Plus as well as tidying the room there was the requirement to remove stickers. Hundreds of them. I purchased some cleaner called 'sticky stuff remover'. This did quite a good job, but there were so many we ended up coming up with a different approach. I soaked a t-towel in boiling water. This was then draped over the stickers and left for 10 minutes. Stickers were then scraped off with an old credit card and then the polish was done with the sticky stuff remover. It worked an absolute treat - but it took absolutely ages.

Anyway, the room now looks amazing. I hope he keeps it that way. It has also given me a saying I will carry forward with me forever. My father who used to fly in army gave him his old flying helmet. Quite a gift. Son has wanted to display it since he got it.

With his much cleaner room there was a perfect spot for the helmet to be displayed. So I put it out. Son came in and I said 'what do you think of that?'. Oh, he said, it looks great. But (are you ready)..... "It smells like a cold war helmet".

Now I don't need to tell you that my mind immediately went to phnarr mode and I've been giggling about that sentence ever since. Much to son's bemusement.

One of the things we sorted were around 200 books that he'd been given. Barely any of them read and a load of classics (Lion, Witch, Wardrobe etc.) with spines that have never been broken. We've boxed these up and will offer to his primary school.

Fast forward to Monday. I got up at normal time and took dog for a walk, then went back to bed shattered, then got up and had a coffee and then went back to bed shattered!

Mid afternoon a real hell started. Son had asked if he could have friends over for a sleepover. This has never been a problem because son is part of the d&d crowd (think stranger things). This means they usually sit quietly and do gaming or similar. 

Nothing prepared me for the critical mass of 7 teenage boys. Each wanting to do different things. Somehow they managed to take over the entire house (apart from my study and husband and my bedroom from which they were banned). That's 2 sitting rooms, the front garden, the back garden, the dining room, the kitchen, husbands study, Felix's room, the corridors, the utility room - every single space in the house was completely taken up with teenagers reliving their childhood.

Nerf guns came out, water balloons where thrown - in fact entire buckets of water were thrown (in the garden thankfully). It was absolute bedlum.

In the end Husband and I just got in the car and drove down to the village to escape. The idea was to go for something to eat, but everything was shut (on a BH Monday!!!). So we popped to the local shop and purchased a picnic to eat on the beach.

Whilst this turned out to be a pleasant option it wasn't perfect, it was absolutely freezing and neither of us were dressed for it because we'd expected to eat inside. By the time we left my toes had turned blue in the sandals.

We came back home and the house wasn't burnt down. Husband and I insisted the boys settled at 21:00 to give the neighbours a break and actually the boys were really good and did settle'ish. I went to sleep at about 22:30 - I woke again just before midnight when husband came to bed. He informed me that the boys had just gone out for a walk!

When I woke this morning I wandered down to make sure they'd all arrived back safely - they had. I then went to tidy the worst of their chaos from the garden - an activity that took over an hour. Largely due to the collection of around 500 burst water balloons. The rest of the garden and the house can be son and husbands problem. They are both on hols this week and I'm working. 

On top of that I've been controlling dog - who can sense strange beings in the house and has been either barking or growling since I woke up at 05:00.

So anyway, I'm exhausted, though when I think back to what I was doing at their age - drinking - even clubbing in London - I should probably be looking at them with admiration for being so well behaved.

I just wish they weren't so well behaved - in my house!!!! Somebody else's turn next time.

And right now I'm back to work. Literally right now. I thought I'd write this whilst the horror was fresh in my mind. It means I'm starting early - but that also means that I'm not downstairs in 'the rest of the house' when horror day 2 begins. All husbands problem. Phew.