I'm not going to lie, I'm struggling at the moment. I will not go into last week's post because that's been well documented already. I'm not sure if it's the time of year - lack of light for example, but I have my sun lamp and I'm taking vitamin D. I know I always struggle at this time of year, but knowing that isn't always helpful when you're down the rabbit hole.
This week there's some good stuff to talk about as well as the general moaning - that I'm afraid is going to happen.
The Moaning
With reference to Dad and his driving, in the end I told my family they were putting too much time pressure on me. I needed time to think it through properly. I also said that the conversation needed to be on his home turf, not in somebody else's house. I also had a good long chat with my brother about it all.
This is not me pushing it away - I'll spend time this week thinking it through. I may be over at their house this weekend and if so my aim is to have the conversation then, but I'm not going to tell anybody that so that they don't all start putting me under pressure again.
In other news, it looks like tomorrow is going to be the day that they make the decision on the football pitches by my house. Let's face it - we all know that the answer is going to be yes. This is not helping my mood at all. Not helped by the fact that one of my neighbours is an absolute nightmare and is jumping up and down screaming in stress and trying to take everybody down with him.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned him in my blog before, but needless to say I've already told him that he's not allowed to contact me. But now he's started to contact my husband instead. Another neighbour has let me know that he's been contacting everybody in the area in the same way and has been so obstructive and abusive to the council that she's heard they are going to wave through the football pitches just to spite him.
I'm trying not to worry about it, it's out of my control, but it's never good not to have control over your life, especially in the place you live, which should be your safe space.
Son's itching is still really bad and it's making him so stressed out and grumpy. I do empathise with him and hope we can get a resolution for him soon, but I'm not convinced medicating the thyroid is going to make a difference. And if he does take the meds and it doesn't help, he's still going to have to take the meds for the whole of the rest of his life because he'll have killed his natural thyroid. It's very stressful.
Later today I'm off on another work trip and because car is so flaky I've got another hire car. I don't like driving things I don't know well and so this is also creating further stress for me.
A lot of these issues, I believe, are down to hyper empathy and fear of change - it's got so bad that now I try to avoid being around other people. I've been referred for help with this by my GP, but the waiting list is really long. I've heard about something called Right to Change (or something) that means if you can find a supplier you can request that under the NHS so I'm going to try to push this forward to try to get some help.... when I have time.
The to do list in the kitchen is now so long I keep having to rewrite it to make room for more stuff. The problem is that things only seem to go on the list, they never come off. But I think I've made some in-roads this morning.
The good stuff
I have at least got some good stuff to write about this week. On Wednesday we had a trip to the Dome to see Al Murray. I finished work, got all tarted up and we drove into town. We got to the theatre in plenty of time, and hung around for a bit. There was nobody there, when the time came for the doors to open, they didn't!!!!
Confused husband and I checked the tickets, only to discover that the show was on Thursday!
Still it was nice to spend time together and we both agreed that the next night we'd leave a bit earlier and go out for a bite to eat.
Fast forward to Thursday and once again I got tarted up, we went into town a bit earlier and had a fantastic Vietnamese meal. I've never had Vietnamese before - absolutely loved it. The people in the restaurant were great. We realised after a while our order had been forgotten because people who arrived later were being served before us. As we were in a hurry I went and had a chat and they leapt into action really quickly. Within minutes they turned up with our meals. Though husband said they'd brought the wrong thing. He said to me to carry on eating mine whilst he waited and because we were short of time I did this.
Then reasonably quickly they turned up with husband's meal, but also another one for me. They said what I was eating wasn't what I'd ordered (as I'd never had it before I didn't know). Though I loved what I was eating so I checked what it was for next time. They tried to persuade me to take what I HAD actually ordered in a doggy bag. I had visions of sitting in the theatre with a stinky meal at my feet so actually turned them down on that one.
Anyway, they took the price of our drinks off the bill and the food was great. They were so nice about everything it actually made it quite fun.
When we turned up at Al Murray (on the right night) it was quite strange, there were - at least - 10 men for every woman. It's the only time in my life that I've been anywhere where you could just walk into the ladies, but the queue for the men's was so long they were having to spiral the queue.
I wasn't sure if I'd like Al Murray, but I really did, it was extremely clever humour. I had a rip roaring night. I was pleased I hadn't managed to book the first 6 rows, I had no idea about the 'Splash Zone' this is where the first 6 rows end up wearing rain ponchos because they have beer thrown over them throughout the show. Though I'm still not 100% sure why! As Al Murray has been around for so long I'm guessing at some point in his history there was a reason why this started happening. I'm just unaware of what it was. There were a lot of 'in' jokes throughout and at times it was also like a panto. Though because it was new to me I just watched and absorbed. I'd like to see him again - maybe next time I'll join in - watch this space.
Anyway it was really nice to spend time with husband - all in all a great night. HOWEVER, parking just for about 4 hours came to............... wait for it............. £37!!!!!!!!!!!
At the weekend my family came over for lunch on Sunday. It was good to see everybody - and as mentioned earlier, there was a lack of drama, which was gratefully received.
Summary
So not all moaning this week, there was some good stuff too. Let's try to focus on the good stuff.
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